01 August 2009
Security deals with the need to feel loved. This doesn't mean the person isn't loved it means they don't feel loved. I can state for a fact that God loves each and everyone of us but that doesn't mean much if you don't believe it. We want to feel secure that no matter what stupid things we do we are accepted and loved. Spouses let us down or worse therefore we end up loosing any security that we may have had within that relationship. Security is most important to women more often then men however both men and women need to feel Secure. It is a basic need of humanity and we will try and find it in anything we can which often breeds more misery than happiness.
Significance can often stem from how much Security we recieve in our life but it is a seperate issue. Every person needs to feel that they matter in some way. What is my worth? Why am I here? What talents or skills do I have? These questions are common to everyone and we've all asked these questions of ourselves and others in our lives. We want to know why we are special. Although as we grow up peer pressure can control our actions which stem from our need for Security (acceptance), when we reach a more mature stage in our life the need for Significance becomes stronger. Everyone is Significant and as friends, spouses or family we need to let those people in our life know how important they are to us. Unless we verbalize this to others then they will not truly know their worth. Men tend to need this more than Security however, again, both men and women need to feel this way.
Ultimately you will only find these two things in Jesus Christ. Until you surrender who you are to him you will never truly understand security and the significance of who you were created to be.
Having said all of this I just want all my friends to know that I do appreciate you and am glad that you have made me your friend. Thank you.
1. You get jazzed up that you realize the actress that played Deanna Trio's mother on Star Trek The Next Generation is the same person that played Bone's assistant from the original Star Trek. (The one who had a crush on Spock.) A couple friends recently reminded me that she was also the voice of the computer and married to Gene Roddenberry.
2. You have referred to yourself as a Browncoat on more than one occasion.
3. You were relieved when George Lucas explained why Three Pio didn't know who Darth Vadar was. (Answer found in Star Wars III :-)
4. You turned to your date all excited during the new Star Trek movie to point out "That guy who played the Hulk in the first movie that no one seemed to like but you did even though the newer Hulk movie was better, plays Nero the bad guy."
5. At every superhero movie that you watch you compare it to the original comics story line and note all the differences. (You know you do:-)
6. (Guys mostly) Thinks that Megan Fox (Transformers) would play a great Wonder Woman!
7. You find yourself cursing using the word Fracked.
8. You wish you could live in the town of Eureka.
9. You wonder why they ended any of the following shows: John Doe, The Pretender, Surface, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Invasion or Enterprise.
10. You reference actors and actresses by what other sci-fi show you have seen them in. (IE... ODO-Boston Legal, River-Terminator Chick, Mal-Castle.)
11. When you break wind you refer to it as a Gasious Anomoly.
12. You get into heated debates on whether Jar Jar Binks should have never been a part of Star Wars.
13. You have watched Galaxy Quest more than 13 times.
14. You wonder why you can’t think of any other movie that the guy on the TV series The Eleventh Hour played in other than Dark City.
I can't tell you how often I have heard people make a comment about finding their other half. That special someone who will complete them. What I'm about to say you may or may not agree with but please take a moment and read it through.
The Bible talks about Adam and Eve being of one flesh. God created 2 complete people and then made them one. Let's stop and understand what has happened in the Garden of Eden. God didn't create Adam and Eve dysfunctional. They were whole and complete beings all on their own. But they were meant for each other. God didn't create Eve so that Adam could be complete as a human being. He didn't create Eve because Adam was upset. there was nothing wrong with Adam, he was perfect.
God doesn't create incomplete people. The reason for creating Eve was God's idea not Adams. God said that it wasn't good that man should be alone. This doesn't mean that Adam needed to have Eve to fulfill what he was created for. What is being said here is that Adam was one of a kind unlike all of the rest of creation. Friendship, intimacy and peace Adam had from God. But it was in God's infinite wisdom and love for Adam that he created Eve. The 2 shall become 1. It is a miracle that can only be performed by a loving God. There is no miracle when 2 people join together in hopes of completing who they are. It is doomed for failure.
If you don't have a significant other I understand the loneliness, I understand the desires and need for someone to love you. But let me suggest you first get those needs met by a loving God and find out why you were created. Once you have that, finding someone who will love and cherish you for all of a lifetime comes much easier. That is my deep thought for the night. Blessings all and know you are loved and cherished already by God.
English: Better known to older folks as Proper English. This form of communication consists of full sentences and correctly spelled words forming a complete thought from beginning to end. Example- How are you doing today?
This forms a complete sentence. This form of speech is becoming extinct however still useful.
American: This is very similar to English however there are some very distinct differences. Example- What's up?
American is much shorter than English and incorporates slang. This is a much broader used form of communication yet still becoming less used everyday.
IMish: This language is rapidly growing throughout the world thanks to the internet and mobile devices. Example - LOL That's funny! (translation- I'm laughing out loud That's funny!) This language is very difficult for older folks to understand and it has taken me some time. idk how long but w e...(you younger folks will get this)
Texting: This language is actually growing more rapidly than the IMish and may even soon replace it all together. It is only slightly different in the fact that most of the sentences or communications are overly abbreviated and full thoughts are not completed but understood. Example- brb (Be right back.) This means something happened on their end and they needed to either close their phone while driving or forgot to use the bathroom the last 17 hours. ( I still get fuzzy on a lot of texting)
IT or Geek: This language has become a necessity in our modern technological age. Megabytes to Terabytes to Internet Protocol's we all encounter this language almost on a daily basis. Examples: Did you clear your cache and temp files? Do you have IP? How much RAM do you have?
Having worked on a help desk for IT it gets much worse than this but you get the drift. Don't forget to reboot.
Hip Hop: I have to admit this is one of my weakest languages and can't even give you an example. So don't give me attitude or I'll bust a cap in your a**! There is a sub language called Snoop Doggieish but I don't really understand that language and probably never will hizzle fashizzle it.
Trucker: This language only comes out in me during dire stress and agitation. It incorporates 4-letter words and other similar forms of duress. I will not give an example of this but if I were typing it the words would include the following...*&^$#$#@^*()&*%$#.
There are more languages such as Musician, Christianese, Saleism better known as Bull, and Manish that I also speak but maybe I'll go over them another time:-)
Respect comes in many forms and given in many ways. There's respect for family, authority, government, spouse, colleagues, talent and I've noticed that we as a society and the world have lost this aspect of ourselves. However the respect that I see lacking the most and what really concerns me is respect of self.
People have lost respect for themselves. This is so very clear to me from the reality TV shows that we watch like The Bachelor where women vi for position to win this one man's heart. There are worse shows out there also. I also see out on the internet men and women posting pictures of themselves that show me they have no respect for their own self worth. In my opinion and it is only an opinion, men and women should not need to flaunt their sexuality in order to get attention. What this says to me is that you feel you cannot be loved or liked for who you are and need to somehow attract people to respect you. The problem with this is that it does just the opposite. Men don't respect women that flaunt themselves because they see them as a sexual object and not a beautiful women worth getting to know and appreciate. Again this is only my opinion and I'm not judging anyone. I just get concerned that people are searching for something the wrong way and will ultimately be frustrated with their lives and hurt.
I was remembering a scene from a great movie called A Few Good Men. Many of you probably remember the courtroom scene where Colonel Jessep states, "You can't handle the truth!" but I was remembering just a bit earlier in that scene. There's a point where Colonel Jessep is told that Tom Cruise's character is not done asking him questions and is told to sit back down. There's an exchange between the Judge and the Colonel that always stuck with me.
Col. Jessep: I would appreciate it if he would address me as Colonel or Sir. I believe I've earned it.
Judge Randolph: Defense counsel will address the witness as Colonel or Sir.
Col. Jessep: [to Judge] I don't know what the hell kind of unit you're running here.
Judge Randolph: And the witness will address this court as Judge or Your Honor. I'm quite certain I've earned it. Take your seat, Colonel.
I love the judges response. I'm quite certain I've earned it. Respect is what this moment was about. One character felt like they had lost respect and was fighting to get it back but the other character knew they deserved respect.
To know you deserve respect regardless of what other people think is the foundation for a healthy relationship in all aspects of our lives. Once we start respecting ourselves we then respect other. We treat other people the way we wish to be treated which in turn causes them to respect back.
Well that is my deep thought for the day and you may or may not agree. I respect that:-).
Let's go over what love is not first. Love is not sexual attraction, friendship, mutual likes or dislikes and it most definitely is not a feeling. Yes let me say that last part again, LOVE IS NOT A FEELING. This is where I believe we have fundamentally missed the mark. We have replaced true love with the notion that sex and attraction are the equivalent. I have had conversations recently where I was reminded that infatuation fades, looks diminish and emotions come and go. At the end of the day if you don't have true love then you will be left empty and hurt.
Now let's cover what true love is. Love is a decision. I'll say it again...LOVE IS A DECISION. I decide to adore my wife and prefer her needs over mine. I decide to serve those that are near to me because I desire their well being before my own. It is a daily and sometimes hourly decision in relationships. You will not always FEEL love for those that are closest to you. You may actually be angry with them however you can decide to love them despite your emotions. If you base your love on the fact your wife is hot your going to be sadly disappointed after a few years and children. That attraction will diminish and fade. You will find other woman more attractive and if you based your relationship on looks then it is doomed for failure.
Love does not seek self gratification. Love seeks others gratification emotionally, physically and mentally. When they hurt you hurt. When they are happy you are happy. When they have needs you desire to fulfill those needs even if you can't.
Probably the most well quoted Bible verses is John 3:16. We see it at sports events, movies, TV everywhere. It states, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son..." I want to focus on the 'So Loved'. I did a study at Elim Bible Institute for a class I was taking and looked up the original Greek. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say that 'So Loved' denotes anguish or pain due to severe love. Basically this passage, if you don't mind me paraphrasing, states that God ached to have a close relationship with us that he was willing to allow his only son Jesus Christ to suffer and die in our place so that he could have a relationship with us. I don't know about you but I can't fathom having that kind of love yet God does for us. This is the epitome of true love.
If we are to have lasting relationships we need to use this example as a guideline otherwise we are just going to continue to suffer and hurt each other. That is my deep thought for the day. I pray you find true love. :-)
I had to throw in something light hearted. Those that use Myspace will probably appreciate this.
10. You have become an expert at Photoshop.
9. Your best friends in this world are called Super Beyotch and Big Daddy Junkie.
8. You get up 5 times a night to play Mobsters so that you can reach that next level.
7. You've gone 17 hours without using the bathroom because you don't want to miss someone's response to a photo comment.
6. Using 'thx 4 da add' and 'pc4pc' have become a second language to you.
5. Even though you have 10,000 + friends you are bored.
4. You've seriously thought about freebasing caffeine so that you can stay online longer.
3. You find it strange when you come across a fellow Myspacer that has less than a 100 friends.
2. You change your profile picture hourly.
1. You thru a virtual party when you found out about texting status messages from your cell phone!!!
If you want to find a man you need to stop playing with the boys. As for the men if you truly wants someone to spend the rest of your life with then start having respect for the women you date. And if the women don't respect themselves then don't get involved with them. That goes for both men and women actually:-).
So you need to ask yourself, "What are my expectations of a mate?" I can only tell you what my expectations were for my wife, as for you that's something you'll have to figure out. What I expected in my wife was first and foremost she needed to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Second I had to be attracted to her (obvious but needs to be said). She needed to accept me for my strengths and weaknesses. And last but not least she needed to not play head games. I wanted someone who was straight forward and honest.
At the age of 26 I had come to a point in my life where either I found a woman that fit those expectations or I'd be single for the rest of my life. I actually had every intention of going to ....Bible.. ..School.... and live single for the rest of my life. Thankfully that didn't happen and I met the woman of my dreams (expectations). I didn't have to lower them because I was lonely although I fought feeling that way often.
I hear people say that, "It's better to be with someone than no one." That is such a lie!!! There is nothing worse than being with someone who doesn't respect you and abuses you. I'll be honest if I was dating a woman and she was going out with other guys or manipulative she would have been gone quicker than you could blink. I don't deserve to be treated that way, in fact no one does. So why do so many of us settle for less....expectations are too low.
Only you can tell yourself what is acceptable standards/expectations of a mate but it is something you may want to examine. You may end up saving yourself a world of heartache and pain.
Now I try not to judge people because we are all messed up and have our problems as well as come from so many different backgrounds but this just set me off. How can you say that you hate most people with a passion and in the next breath state you wish you served God better? Here's a thought. Stop writing stupid things that are hurtful and abusive to others that you haven't even met yet. That's not the heart of God.
Anyways...this got me looking at several other issues I see around me, myself included. When did bad become the new good? The more I read and see other people it has become apparent to me that it's cool to do wrong or be bad. More and more girls seem to love the bad boy image and the guys love the easy slutty image that is being thrown around. This is considered cool, a good thing. I know it has always been this way for many years but when I see 12 and 13 year olds acting like this I get sick to my stomach and want to cry.
Sex, sex and more sex along with drugs and idiocy has blanketed our society at almost all levels. From politics to TV to the Internet you can't escape it anymore. Guys kicking each other in the groins on a TV show and then make a movie of it. Who paid to see that? Please don't answer that.
I know I have many faults and weaknesses but I don't like that about myself. What I see is people embracing these faults and weaknesses and making it out to be the new cool. I'm sorry but that just saddens me. Instead of trying to change for the better our society has said, "The hell with that!" and has focused on doing only what they deem feels good without concern for how this affects those around them or their families.
I'm sure if you have read this far that there will be those that think I'm an idiot or something far worse but not really caring. I feel very strongly about this. If we are just going to embrace stupid and disgusting behavior then I don't want to hear people moaning and complaining as our society crumbles around us.
That's my 5 cents for the day.
After 13 years of marriage I have learned a few things. She is always right, doing dishes is foreplay, sometimes cuddling is all that's needed, showing appreciation for no reason will put a smile on her face and your greatest joy should be to make her happy. There are a few others but I think that is a good start. But the most important thing I have learned and it is vital for a lasting marriage is that there is no back door. I'm talking about true commitment. As I have blogged before love is not a feeling but a decision so too is marriage. On this reason alone I believe strongly in marriage because if done correctly and understood by both parties then there is something very special that happens.
Getting back to my deep thought. When my wife and I went through pre-marital counseling our pastor brought up the concept of no back doors in the relationship. In other words if you are going to get married you are making a choice that no matter how you feel or what life is going to throw your way, you are going to be in it for the long haul. I understand that partners decide to leave or fool around but they have chosen to see a back door that really wasn't there.
In The Matrix there is a scene where Neo goes to meet The Oracle for the first time. He meets a bald headed boy with a spoon. I love this scene because it demonstrates my back door point.
Spoon Boy: Do not try to bend the spoon...that's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon Boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon Boy: Then you'll see that its not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
What I would like to say to all those thinking about leaving your partner, "There is no BACKDOOR!" You may think you see a way out of the relationship but there is no backdoor. It's not real. What really is going to happen is you're going to break through a wall that is going to damage both you and your partner in a way that is devastating and sometimes impossible to recover from. The door is an illusion...don't take it and stop looking for it. Once you stop looking or understand that the door doesn't really exist then you will find yourself focused on what really matters... each other. That is my deep thought for the day and I pray it blesses you in some way!
Review Copies of The G-6 Chronicles: The Unwanted Trilogy book 1
An explosion shatters the night sky….
Smoke and flames erupt over the city of Chicago. FBI Agent Nick Catlin watches helplessly as their only lead straps on a glider and leaps off a high rooftop, soaring toward Lake Michigan. They’ve lost him, again. The crime scenes always fit the same pattern—five babies are among the casualties. Fourteen months later, though, in New York, no infant bodies are found. Nick’s gut tells him the killer was somehow interrupted in his work and that he won’t stop until he tracks down those children and finishes what he started.
Oklahoma rancher Leigh Barrus is barely making ends meet when his estranged niece, Janet, shows up at his ranch with five babies in tow. The terrifying tale she tells him about genetic experiments is only the beginning of the shocking truths….
A gripping fantasy/paranormal thriller
with a twist of sci-fi for all agesIf interested in a review copy please send an email to dlc(@)theunwantedtrilogy.com with where you review. (Amazon, B&N, Reviews Preferred.) P.S. We do have some paperback copies of The Unwanted first edition if you don't have an e-reader.
Daniel L Carter
Author of The G-6 Chronicles